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If it becomes slightly uncomfortable, then tell him to stop moving and to keep his finger still for a minute or two. The point of this ingredient is to kill sperm and prevent pregnancy, which has little risk with anal activity. So, the key to having pain free anal sex is getting your sphincter muscle to relax and open up enough so that your man can enter you with ease. There are plenty of reasons how to relax during anal sex experiment with it. The whole point of anal play is to keep it simple before working your way up. An alternative is how to relax during anal sex lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys.